The Party Poopers

This week I'm on vacation. I took the whole week off to do absolutely nothing. No plans to go anywhere or do anything in particular. Unfortunately, when you have a lot of time to yourself, it allows you to think - a lot. You start thinking about things that the stresses of everyday life allow you to push aside. I thought about that stuff yesterday, and it put me in a bad mood. I realized that a large part of me is unhappy. Unhappy with certain aspects of my relationship with Q. These are things which have already been acknowledged, discussed and are being worked on. Nevertheless, they still bother me and I'm not sure that they can be resolved.

When Q came home yesterday, we had a talk, which made me feel better. He then suggested that we go out on a date to break the monotony. I thought it was a great idea, and appreciated the effort. We decided to go to a Japanese Steakhouse we'd both wanted to try, and then go see Wedding Crashers. It's a comedy, has had good reviews, and would be a good way to lift my spirits.

Dinner was excellent. Some of the best sushi in the city. We then made our way to the movie theatre. We had some time to kill, and decided to stop in at Indigo Books. Much to my surprise, I looked over and saw a huge line of people waiting to get their books signed by Bruce Campbell, my favourite B movie star of all time. I contemplated joining them, but the lineup looked to be an hour long. We checked out some cookbooks instead.

We headed up to the theatre just after 9, since the movie started at 9:20. Well at least all the commercials and previews started then. I was starting to feel a lot better and then the movie started. Within 15 minutes I hated it. Absolutely fucking hated that movie. Everyone around me was laughing, and I didn't find it funny at all.

The movie starts with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan in their offices, where we soon learn that Vince is obnoxious, and Owen is the quiter type. They are all excited about the wedding season, which is then abruptly followed by a 10-15 minute montage of them going to party after party after party. At the end Owen starts feeling dissatisfied with the whole scene, and is wanting something more that casual sex. Vince convinces him to do one more. They go and he falls in love with the bride's sister, who has a boyfriend. At this point he's already lied to her and given a fake name and fake background (oooh, conflict). Vince has sex with a girl who becomes really clingy and won't leave him alone (oooh funny conflict). Owen wants to stay and try to win her over, while Vince wants to leave. Fill in the rest of the plot with sitcom situation #652, and you've got the rest of the movie.

At this point I couldn't take it anymore. It was 10:15 and I was sitting in my seat, feeling like I'm being forced to sit through 2 hours of Everybody Loves Raymond or something. Not to mention I had just paid $48 for 2 tickets, a popcorn and 2 drinks - plus 5 dollars in parking. When I'm paying over 50 bucks to see a goddamned movie, I feel that I should be entertained. I'm sick of paying that kind of money for crap. After sitting through The Next Best Thing (that horrible Madonna and Rupert Everett movie), Far From Heaven (Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid - at least 10 people walked out of that one) and Spiderman 2 (which Q slept through), I swore never to sit through a film and torture myself again. The Ring II sucked ass too, but at least it was so terrible that it was funny. So after an eternity of sitting uncomfortably, getting up to go to the bathroom and wandering around to kill time, I sat back down and told Q how crap I thought the movie was. He asked that I wait a few more minutes to see if it gets better. Well, after another hour (which was more like 5 minutes in real time) I asked him what time it was. He replied "It's 10:15. Do you want to go?" I was out of my seat faster than you could say "I just wasted 50 bucks."

I don't know if it was the movie, or just my mood. Q didn't think the movie was that great either, but he at least found it somewhat enjoyable. I like my comedies to have some wit, not "he's funny cuz he's big and talks a lot, and talks with food in his mouth, and bangs a lot of chicks."

I guess I was disappointed because I thought that I would really like this movie. If I wanted to go see a bad movie, then I would have changed my mind frame to bad movie mode. In the past I've surprised myself by laughing at choice films like Zoolander and Deuce Bigalo. The difference was I expected crap, got crap, and enjoyed the crap for what it was - and I paid $4.99 to rent the DVD.

I don't think I'll go see movies in the theatres anymore. Not unless I really really really really really want to see it. I'll just wait for the DVD, make my own popcorn and relax at home. If I don't like it, at least I can watch something else.