What NOT to do in the morning.

1. Wake up to alarm at 7:00 am. Lay back and rest for just a few minutes.
2. Wake up (with alarm still blaring) again at 7:30 am. Lay back and rest for just one more minute.
   
3. Wake up (with alarm still blaring) at 8:10 am. Run and jump into shower.
4. Sit down and watch TV while eating breakfast.
   
5. Finish eating cereal but continue watching Breakfast Television. It's imperative that you see the segment where they make Easter rabbits out of Rice Krispies squares.
6. Give cats their morning tuna treat (lest they kill you), get dressed, brush teeth, put product in hair, walk out door. Don't rush.
7. Drive to work, park car.
8. Go to Starbucks and get into very long line.
9. Stare at the trainer you see all the time there and try to figure out what part of Eastern Europe he's from. Wonder if he really does have that long, floppy, uncut cock that you fantasize about.
10. Avert eyes before you're caught.
11. Grab coffee and walk into office around 9:30.
    
12. Start blogging.