Attack of the Goat People

Anyone who knows me or reads this blog regularly is well aware of my complete disdain for the monopoly that is Bell Canada. After my latest call to them, I've decided that I could get the same amount of help from them if their phones were manned by goats.

Let me relate my recent conversation to prove my point. My part of the conversation is in bold, followed by the support agent's response, followed by a goat translation in parentheses:

Ring.. Ring..

Thank you for calling Bell Canada. My name is mpfrgghrp how can I help you? (Baaaa-a-a-a.)

Hi there. I'm trying to set up a new internet service but wasn't supplied with a username or password.

Ok, what's the B1 number for the account? (Baaa.)

I don't know, I wasn't given anything - just the modem.

Well if you could give me the B1 number then I could look up your account. (Baaa baaa ba)

Like I said, I wasn't supplied with any information. I don't have the B1 number, I don't have the username or password. That's why I'm calling you.

So you don't have one? (Baa.)

No.

And you need a username and password? (Ba).

Yes.

Oh, well you've reached tech support. You have to talk to the billing department for that information. Let me transfer you. (Baaaaa baaaa ba ba ba baaaaaaaa)

????????

As you can see, if you read the english or goat translation, you get the same end result. It's like reading a choose your own adventure book where every choice leads to your death.

I rest my case.