Don't ask me if you're afraid of what I might say

I hate Bell. Let me clarify. I loathe, detest, despise, can't stand, wish-aliens-would-abduct- and-probe-them-all, hate hate hate Bell Canada.

Being in I.T., I deal with them on a constant basis. I can't recall one installation or repair call that they didn't fuck up. They are unorganized, incompetent and if they were any other company and not a monopoly, they'd have gone bankrupt years ago. As it stands, I can no longer recommend Bell as an internet provider to any of my clients and will switch them off as soon as any problems arise.

So imagine my sheer delight today when I answer the phone and a friendly voice says to me:

"Good morning. I'm calling on behalf of Bell Canada. We are doing a customer service survey and I was wondering if you'd like to participate."

I was supposed to meet someone in half an hour for lunch, but there was no way that I was going to miss this. If I love anything, it's a chance to bitch. Here are some of my answers based on my satisfaction level ranging from 1 to 10:

• 1
• 1
• 2
• 1
• 2
• 1

And some other answers:

• They have yet to get a single installation right.
• Service reps fail to show.
• Every person I speak to in support has a different answer for the same question.
• I don't believe that many of the people I speak to know what they are talking about.
• I would never recommend a Bell product to any of my clients - ever.
• They took over a month and a half to get all 4 of our phone lines working.

It just went on and on like that for 20 minutes. I was in heaven. Then he asked me if he could pass along my contact info to the group that reads these surveys. I told him to go right ahead. I have no problem telling them exactly why their service sucks honey-dipped donkey balls.

Happy Day.