Simon Cowell Likes Young Boys

But before I get to that -

WE FINALLY BOUGHT A HOUSE LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!

It's a semi, 2 bedroom with parking out front and a kick ass backyard with a huge 2 level deck that screams PARTY, HOTTUB, and HOTTUB PARTY. Hopefully we can put one in this summer. The kitchen and bathroom are new with a heated floor in the bathroom to keep your tootsies warm in the winter. The basement is very high so we are going to finish it, put in another bathroom and put a door out to the backyard. The basement stairs are too narrow and there's no way to remove the ancient washer and dryer or put new ones in. And yes Dan, I'll be building a special little room just for you.

Best part - no bidding war and we got if for under asking.
Not so best part, but liveable - it's out on Victoria Park which is farther east than we were originally looking. If we were on the other side of the street we'd be in Scarborough (ewww). Thankfully we are pretty far south and only a 10 minute walk to the beach so that balances out nicely.

I'll post pictures later.

So after all that excitement I was pretty tired and didn't have any trouble falling asleep. Didn't have any problems dreaming either. I dreamt that I was one of the last 4 contestants on American Idol. I didn't want to do it anymore so I didn't practice any songs for that night's competition. Instead I came out on stage and sang along to La Gloria by Erasure and totally flamed out. Paula liked my performance but Randy and Simon didn't I got kicked off.

Later I was back in my room and relieved to no longer be on the show. Then I decided to pull out a blow up doll I had recently purchased and try having sex with it. It was beginning to feel really good when Simon suddenly walked in. I said "Well isn't this embarassing" and Simon left.

Later he calls me to his office and tells me that he wants me to design a logo for him. Then, next thing I know we're driving around L.A. at night. He's driving and I'm in the passenger seat with the goddamn blowup doll. We drive past these 13 or 14 year old boys standing outside an Arcade and Simon slows down to take a better look. I call him on it, saying "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you like them young. Pervert" He just looked at me, looked at the blow up doll and grinned, as if to say "You're one to talk". Then I woke up.

I didn't know that buying a house could cause severe brain damage.