My Left Foot

Last night I laid in bed thinking about all the great things I was going to write in my blog today. Now I can't remember a single one. My mind is a blank as Farrah Fawcet's. Speaking of which, I finally got to watch the end of Logan's Run. Wow. Firecrackers everywhere! Too bad Farrah had to die. I can't explain exactly how it's possible to be bad at acting dead, but somehow she managed to pull that off.

On another note, here's one of my idiosyncrasies - I always put my socks and shoes on starting with my right foot. Sock on right foot, then sock on left foot. Shoe on right foot, then shoe on left foot. Tie up laces on right foot, then tie up laces on left foot. I always do it without fail. Sometimes I'll start tying the laces on my left shoe and I'll catch myself. At that point I stop and switch over to the other foot, then go back to my left.

I just noticed a few months ago that I did this. I have no idea where it came from or why. It's almost like it's bad luck to start with the left foot first. Weird.

I'd have a blinking hand if I was in this movie right now.

I started watching Logan's Run last night. I didn't get to finish it because Q came home (he can't stand these types of films) but am eagerly awaiting the conclusion tonight. I found it in the bargain bin at Future Shop for $3.99 and I have to say it's worth every penny. I've always wanted to see it, so how could I pass it up??

It takes place in a futuristic city where everyone lives happily until they reach the ripe old age of 30. At that time they have to go to Carousel where they float up (with the help of wires) to a disco ball crystal in the ceiling until they explode, which they believe allows them to be "renewed." Logan's a Sandman who kills people who try to escape. He's given a special, secret, mission. His time is up (the red crystal on his hand is blinking) and he's sent to find all the people who've escaped (a.k.a "runners"), join them and then destroy them. Isn't that exciting?

The special effects are awesome, for 1976. Why George Lucas wasted money on developing his own ground breaking effects for Star Wars when he could have just used cheap toy models, firecrackers, strings and poorly drawn lasers I'll never know. I couldn't tell at all. The dialogue and acting are god-awful fantastic. Who knew that Farrah Fawcet was such a great actress?? I actually believed that she was a ditsy blonde during her Oscar-deserving performance.


And check out this Robot:

There's no way that I would ever have guessed that they grabbed dryer vent hose and McDonalds' drink cups (with the bottoms cut out), painted them silver, duct taped it all together and used it for arms, ever. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto?

Finally, check out the cover art (click for larger picture):


I love this type of artwork which was popular in the 70's and early 80's. I used to think it was hideously ugly (which it is) but there's something about it that I like (probably that it's hideously ugly). There's a rainbow, ice people kissing, a robot, a woman walking through a wall, sexy lady with swirlies, Farrah looking like meth/crack/heroine junkie, people floating above a giant red crystal and so much more! It just makes you want to see the movie, doesn't it?

I really should put a permanent link up

But for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, you can view all my artwork at www.jbarrie.com .

Left in the dark

No lamp for me. I couldn't decide whether I really wanted it or not, and then I got stuck in traffic on the way home, so the auction closed. I figure that if I wanted it that badly, I'd have bid on it already. No aliens in the basement for me.

Speaking of traffic, it was hell yesterday. I made my way home from Burlington at the end of the day, and it usually takes under an hour. It ended up taking two. It took me 120 minutes to go 70 kilometers. I left at 4:45 and got home around 7:00. Absolute hell - I don't know how people do it day after day.

Howard decided to get into my box of Raisin Bran Bars the other day and eat half of one. Then he ran over to the only area rug in the entire house and puked on it. I should be thankful it wasn't explosive diarreha. You know, any time either of the cats has a hairball, they immediately run to the carpet under the dining room table to cough it up. Bastards.

I finished another piece of art this week. I was asked to do a portrait of someone for a birthday present. I love how it turned out and so did my client. Yay! My first commissioned artwork! It's 18 x 26, printed on canvas and streched onto a frame.

I want Friday to be over already.

Saving some for later

Wow, it's amazing what kind of opinions an ugly lamp can bring forth. I love it for it's hideousness though, and I've got 10 hours to decide if I really want it.

On another note, today I was in an elevator with a man who had toilet paper - not stuck to his shoe - but coming out the bottom of his pant leg. I, um, eww.

The Mod Club

Been going through a bit of a blogging dry spell lately. Life's busy, house is keeping us busy and it's all pretty mundane.

I was looking on ebay the other day and came across this light that I'm thinking of getting for the basement. It's an original, about 33" high, and I have absolutely no use for it, but have always wanted one. I was thinking of putting in those bulbs that are capped with aluminum (or whatever) on the ends, just to give it an extra look. Plus it would prevent the bulb from glaring directly in your eye. It's currently at $50 with no bids, and will cost $25 to ship from Quebec.

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz

You know what I hate? I hate automatic toilets. You know, the kind that automatically flush so you don't have to touch anything? Well they don't work all that well.

I was sitting on one this morning and I shifted slightly to wipe, and the toilet flushed, spraying my ass with droplets of cold water. Then, every time I moved, it flushed. When I was finished I stood up. Guess what happened? Nothing. It's like I wasn't even there. I was ignored by a toilet. Consequently I had to push the flush button - totally defeating the purpose of the self-flush toilet.

Rainy days make me crabby.

Baggage-Handling Mix-Up Sends Dirty Bomb To St. Louis

I love The Onion (safe for work).

Gym Daddies and Porn Stars

After a few days of sulking and self loathing, I finally decided to get my ass to the gym yesterday. I'm glad I did. After a few minutes of working out, I discovered (much to my surprise) that I hadn't lost as much muscle as I'd thought. I was able to lift close to what I used to. That gave me the motivation I needed and I enjoyed the rest of the workout. I also felt clear headed and hyper when I got home. It was great. I think I'm hooked again.

The gym wasn't as bad as I'd originally thought either. I began to see a few more familiar faces, not anyone I knew, but other fags I recognized from other gyms. Made me feel better that the place wasn't filled with testosterheterone. I also ran into this guy I knew from a few years back, when I was with Psycho. We'd always talked about getting together, but it never happened. He's a short, stocky, muscular, salt & pepper haired daddy type - just what I like - and the sexual tension was still there. That's an opportunity missed, but I can still enjoy the vibe - sometimes that's more fun than actually doing the deed, which can be a letdown. He's a very nice guy and since he doesn't live far from us, he invited Q and I over to his house for a BBQ. He has a partner, so I don't think it's a sex thing. It won't be anyways.

The funny thing is, he said he was just talking about me the other day. He was speaking with Psycho and asked how I was doing. Psycho told him that he didn't know, but that I'd bought a house with Q and we'd moved out to the east end. Word travels fast. I haven't been in the village for months and months. Gays and gossip! Gays and gossip!

Speaking of hot daddy sex, I was on my computer last night looking at porn surfing the net, when I came across a picture of someone I knew. He was a guy Psycho and I had fooled around with a few times. I see he's broadened his horizons. Still hot too. Now I can say I've had sex with a porn star, but the pictures might have been taken after the fact. Does that still count?

On the topic of porn stars, I almost had sex with another one once, and he's starred in many a film. We'd made plans to hook up a few times, but it never happened. Again, one of those older, short, stocky, muscular daddy types. I was young at the time, and could have been his "boy." Sigh. Another missed opportunity. He plays piano for a dance school by day, and gets pylons shoved up his ass at night. Well maybe not pylons, but I haven't seen many of his movies either.

Maybe I'll rent a movie tonight.

Weight Watching

I have no idea what to write today. I saw my mother, grandmother and niece fly off to Poland yesterday. They're gone for a month. I would have loved to have gone with them but, well, there is the hou$e and all. Plus they're going to visit family. After a few days I would have wanted to hop on a train and travel, only returning a couple of days before heading back. Maybe next year.

I decided to stick with the gym. They have refilled the paper towel dispensers so you don't have to ask the towel Nazi anymore. I also went for my fitness test. Bad idea. I saw exactly how much I weigh and it's not pretty. Kind of depressing really, considering how much I've gained in the past couple of years. I have to say though, these past couple of years haven't been particularly easy. The past few months have been extremely stressful with house hunting, contractor hunting, and renovation living.

I've also done a lot of soul searching in the past year and have come to terms with a lot of demons from my past. The anger and rage that was constantly simmering just below the surface and would explode at a moment's notice are gone. It may bubble up from time to time, but it's manageable. I've learned to recognize and diffuse it. In fact I'd say that with the help of a fantastic therapist, I'm in the best emotional and mental state I've ever been in. So why is it that when my emotional and mental well being was at rock bottom, my physical self was at it's peak? And now that I'm truly happy, my physical state is the pits? I just can't win. Anyways, I'm hoping that my trip to the gym on Saturday will give me the kick in the ass I need to get back in to shape. The truth hurts.

The last time I put on a lot of weight I was in my early 20's and was with The Walrus. I was extremely unhappy. When we broke up - I mean when I left him and I was no longer chained - I started taking Ecstasy and hitting circuit parties almost every weekend. I'd stay up dancing until 7:00am and not eat anything the next day. E makes your appetite go away - no stomach rumblings or anything. Sometimes I'd make myself eat just because I knew I should. It also dehydrates you like no other. It was the best diet ever - I lost close to 55 pounds that summer, dropping my weight to 175. I had to buy all new clothes because everything fit like a mumu.
Eventually I started working out and brought myself back up to a healthier 200lbs - where I want to be again.

As nice as it is to reminisce, I'm a little more mature now. I've done the big party thing and now I'm in the domesticated stage of my life. I'll just put on my ipod, step on the tredmill, close my eyes and pretend that I'm back at a club, dancing the night away. Gotta remember to keep sipping water so I don't get too dehydrated though.

Long weekend. Long Post

Had a spectacularly uneventful, but pleasant long weekend. Watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and yes, it's as good as everyone says. Val Kilmer hasn't aged well.

Went out to the country on Saturday afternoon and visited my sister and her kids. They recently got a cat and her 2 kittens and my niece has been dying for me to come down to see them. So cute. So adorably cute. They're just tiny little things, and they don't mind being mauled by children. The mother cat is even protective of niece and nephew. If she hears either of them cry, she's runs right up to them and makes sure that they're ok.

I love going out to visit them. My sister and her husband are very kind, caring people. I look at their kids, knowing that they are growing up in a safe, stable home in the country and that they'll never truly realize just how lucky and fortunate they are. It makes me very happy.

Sunday morning my parents came up to see the house. They hadn't seen it since before we moved in - which is to say it looks completely different. I got the approval and we headed out to the Wexford Restaurant in Scarborough for breakfast. This place has been in the same strip mall since 1958, and I don't think they've redecorated since 1970. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm really not. Even the pictures on the menu have that disgusting 70's look - you know what I mean. Regardless of the decor, they have fantastic freshly squeezed orange juice and great greasy bacon and eggs. If you're ever at the corner of Warden and Lawrence (because it's just a fantastic place to be) be sure to stop by.

Afterwards we went up to visit Q's mother and help her make jam. That's right, I said make jam. Strawberry jam. Strawberry freezer jam to be exact. We went out to a farm, bought way too many strawberries and began the jamming process. It was surprisingly easy, given that it's a no cook recipe. In the end we ended up with over 50 jars of the goddamn stuff. You wouldn't think that making jam would be tiring, but after 3 solid hours of it, you get a little fatigued. It turned out really good. We also have 20+ jars of it at home. Guess what everyone's getting for Christmas.

I didn't mind helping Q's mom out for the afternoon. The woman's in her early 70's and even though she go go go's, it's hard for her to do a lot on her own. She's made so much food for us over the years too. She's also the first one to make chicken soup from scratch if you're sick. Plus we kept her company for the better part of a day while Q's dad is away on a trip. That was a feel good day.

Sunday was a day for us to do whatever we wanted - which meant go shopping. We ended up with curtains for the living room, and almost a new sofa from Urban Barn. I love that store. The couch was black leather, and had elongated cushion at one end, kind of like a built in chaise lounge. There was also a matching 4x4 ottoman decked out in black and white cow hide. Very kitschy, but very cool. It was also on sale. But we didn't' do it. Our current couch and chair is large and overstuffed - perfect for flopping on, sinking into and falling asleep in. This furniture was a lot more stiff - plus leather furniture and shorts (or underwear, or nothing at all) don't always mix well together. You either stick or you sliiiiiiide. Ooo - and I also got hit on too. This sales guy kept coming over to talk to me, and when we were leaving he gave me his card in case I was still interested in "that chair I was looking at." Uh huh. Love the attention though.

One other thing that I noticed about Urban Barn was the artwork. Some of the pieces that they had in there reminded me of my own. I asked Mr Chair Reminder where they purchased the artwork from and he said it was from an company called Art in Motion. I checked them out on the web and they're always looking for new artists. I think I'll submit some work and see what comes of it. My latest collection has yet to be shown anywhere, but if can get it out into stores, that would be even better. And fuck the gallery owners who shun artists who do work commercially. I'll take what I can get.