Calendar boy

Once upon a time I went to the Black Eagle for a fundraiser with my friend Chris - since his boyfriend was helping to organize it. They were selling raffle tickets and you could buy an arm or leg's length of them. Of course I went for the leg length. Chris bent down to carefully and thoroughly measure my inseam and someone took a picture. A few weeks later I'm walking past the Eagle and the bouncer (who I knew) grabs me and pulls me in.

"Have you seen October's calendar yet?"

"No. Why?"

Then he handed it to me. I'd unwittingly and officially become October's Calendar Boy.
Please note the Bare Chested Sluts written across my chest.