Dear Wendy

I remember fondly when you moved in across the street in the summer of 2003. The girl I had been waiting for. Instantly, we started a torrid affair. I came to visit you a couple of times a week and it was wonderful.

But then reality set in. I knew too much of you was bad for me, so I cut back on my visits. Then, last fall I decided that I needed a break and cut you out of my life forever.

It wasn't until the end of december that I walked past your door, reminicing about old times. It was then that I saw my prayers had been answered. You had changed, even though I had always thought that you were too set in your ways. I liked variety, and now you had it! I could now enjoy a healthier you.

Well I should have known that bad habits die hard. After the initial excitement had worn off, I started craving the Wendy I had always known and loved. When those sinfully salty sticks hit my lips, I knew I was in heaven.

Now my stomach hurts.

You are such a fucking bitch.