IT'S ALIVE!!!

It's finally finished!!!!! I've uploaded my new site for all to behold.

I'm excited because it's the first site I've designed and created from scratch - no templates and no wizards. I even included the bullshit "Statement" that galleries love to see for some reason.

Take a look and let me know what you think - unless you're my evil twin and you have a better website but it's not on a computer and needs to be scanned in or something. I'll probably tweak it as the days go on, but I'm happy so far.

www.jbarrie.com

Almost Famous

I've decided that I want to be famous. Actually I shouldn't act like I just decided this, it's something that I've wanted ever since I was a child. Initially I thought that I'd accomplish this through acting and/or modeling, but after having just the teeniest, tiniest taste of the industry, I realized that I wasn't prepared for, nor did I want to take part in it. Instead I concentrated on getting my University degree and getting a steady paying job. Now I'm 30, I've got a job that pays well and it's one that I enjoy. I don't have any complaints really. It suits me perfectly. But I've gone as far in the computer field as I want to go.

I'm getting the feeling that in the next couple of years I'm going to need a change. Not just a new job, but a whole new career. After getting my degree, I was adamant that I'd never go back to school again (so young, so foolish). Now I'm considering going to Ryerson for photography and design, and leaning towards commercial product photography. This is where the famous part comes in. I going to be a famous designer or photographer. I want people clamoring for my designs and to be featured in magazines. I want the opportunity to say "No Madonna, I can't design your next album cover. I'm simply too busy. Maybe next time. AND STOP CALLING ME!!!"

My creative juices are flowing at an all time high. I'm having trouble sleeping at night because I keep thinking of ideas. I've been working furiously on my new website, which is hopefully going live tomorrow. I have a stack of photos in my head that need to be made, and the desire to put together a show. Poor Q barely sees me these days.

It all sounds ridiculous, but it's driving me in a way that I've never felt before to create and keep creating . Hell, I even bought a Mac.

Change is good.

Farm Sluts

Don't get too excited - it's not porn.

However it's a very funny short film about a guy who gets fired for inadvertently going to a porn site at work. Watch it when you have about 20min or so.

http://content.foxsearchlight.com/searchlab/node/598

Windows 386

I came across this ancient promo video for Microsoft Windows 386. Not Windows 3.1, but 386 - circa 1987. It's a 12 minute video, but worth it when you get to the 7 minute mark.

It really doesn't get any more 80's than this. I'm going to have nightmares. Brace yourself.

I Get Excited You Get Excited Too

(obscure Pet Shop Boys reference)

I'm excited. I've spent the last number of evenings recreating my website from scratch. It's almost done and I'm very, very happy with it. Hoping to have it finished this weekend.

Just had to share....

I'm old

I used to think that back problems were only for old people. Well, by my own definition I'm now officially old. After walking hunched over for days and being referred to as Grandma (and secretly wishing I had a walker a few times) I finally went to see a Chiropractor. After some painful prodding (and not the good kind) and X-rays, it was determined that I have a disc bulge. I don't mind having a bulge - but on the front, not the back. I was also told that I have the beginnings of arthritis between the two discs that are causing me problems.

ARTHRITIS!! FOR GOD'S SAKE I'M ONLY 30!

I've been told it's not uncommon though, and could have been caused by some back trauma from when I was a kid. I can't think of anything that would have caused any damage as a kid but there was that one night during Pride a number of years ago that left my back a little achy...

Anyways, the ice pack seems to be helping and the Chiropractic visits are doing their job. It's frustrating knowing that I can't lift a thing for the next few weeks for fear that I'll injure it again. I have to strengthen the muscles around the problem area to protect it first. Guess there's no other bigger incentive to get my ass back to the gym.

I'm saving up for a motorized scooter.

Slow News Week

Not much happening this week I'm afraid, so I'm going to toss out some old news. Anyone remember the Ikea dog-penis scandal? There is a fold out picture of a family and dog on the cover of the 2007 catalogue. If you look closely at the dog, it looks like it's been endowed with a rather large, circumsized penis. Ikea claims it's just a leg. I'm sure that's what the dog tells all the boys.

Anyways, here's a picture of the um, picture, followed by a closeup.

Bits

*Still cutting back on the smoking. Down to 2-3 cigarettes a day. This isn't fun anymore. Withdrawal is kicking in.

*Went to see my naturopath last night for some acupuncture. Explained that I'd had a nasty stomach flu, and that I had a couple of tender spots - one just below and to the left of my sternum, and the other was on my right shoulder. It was odd, but once the flu hit, it felt like my shoulder was bruised for some reason. He then proceeded to take a small statue off the shelf, which had all the pressure points labeled on it. The spot I pointed out below my sternum was related to stomach pain, and the exact spot I pointed to on my shoulder was related to the large intestine. Neat.

*Acupuncture is wonderful.

*He warned me that cutting back to just a few cigarettes a day isn't the best way to quit. What ends up happening is that those precious few smokes become a reward that you give yourself for doing so well on cutting back. In turn, smoking becomes a positive thing that you reward yourself with, and it makes it that much more difficult to give up. I never thought of it that way, but it makes sense.

What doesn't kill you just leaves you a little crippled.

Not much happening lately. Saturday we were out at Ikea looking at closet organizers, and I started feeling very ill. You know I must be sick when I want to leave Ikea. I came home, crashed on the couch and within an hour came down with the worst stomach flu I've ever had the pleasure of enduring. There's nothing like running to the bathroom and then running back to the couch, diving under the blanket and shivering for the next 10 minutes trying to get warm again - all while fully clothed. Had a high fever all night too, which I'm sure burned every bacteria in my body as I woke up feeling exhausted but no longer ill. Unfortunately all the shivering somehow screwed up my back so now that I feel healthy again, I'm crippled.

Shoot me.

However, on the bright side, I felt so nauseous with the flu that I didn't smoke very much. I decided that I'd keep on that track. I only had 2 cigarettes yesterday and 2 the day before. ZERO cigarettes today - so far. I already feel better.

*crosses fingers*

Also started working on updating my website yesterday. I've had an idea in my head for a while on how I want it done, and recently discovered how to accomplish it in Photoshop. However I still have to learn how to actually create the whole damn site from scratch. Learning curve here I come. I hope it doesn't turn out as bland as the rest of my work. ;>

My Evil Twin Brother

I received the following email in my inbox today:

Hey Jonathan

We share the same name. We also share an artistic interest with regards to action figures from our youth. I have to admit that I am not hugely impressed with your work (don't take it personally) but it is pretty bland.

You seem to be getting to exhibit it though so someone must like it (god knows who).

I have some (better) photographs that I took of certain of my favourite action figures around about 2 years ago now which I am going to send you.

Perhaps they will inspire you to produce something a bit more exciting?

Expect to see them soon, they are not in digital format so I will have to work out whether I scan them or get them converted....I don't currently know.

Regards

Your namesake, Jonathan Barrie

You know, I can take criticism. In fact I even welcome it. It makes one rethink and potentially improve one's work. However there is this thing called tact, of which he is sorely lacking. Art is all in the eye of the beholder, but I fail to see how this could be considered bland. The other collection was my very first one. Is it a little bland? Maybe. But it was also a starting point. Not to mention my work has a very different feel when printed, as opposed to when viewing it on a monitor.

You know what would have been better? Saying something along the lines of "I do the same subject matter as you and I feel that your work could use a little something extra. Here are some examples of my work. Maybe it will give you some ideas." It's essentially the same message, but minus the elitism. I don't take away the fact that his work could be good, but man, why so negative?

I'm still intrigued however.

An eye for a porn.

Yesterday I picked up an EyeTV for my mac. It's a little audio/video device that plugs into a USB port and connects to Cable or your VCR/camcorder allowing you to watch TV or a VHS on your computer. It also acts as a PVR and can record what you're watching and then burn it to a DVD.

Adding something like this to a Windows PC is annoying - install the CD that came with the device and pray the drivers got installed properly. Reboot. Plug in device. Wait for Windows to tell you it found a new device, then what it is, the it asks you if you want to look online for drivers or automatically look for them. Choose "look for them" and pray it finds them. If it doesn't, then point it to the CD and search for the proper folder and pray again. Possibly reboot.

With my mac I plugged the EyeTV into the USB port, and put the CD in the drive. A window came up and I dragged the icon for the EyeTV software into the Applications folder. Went into the Applications folder, clicked on the icon, typed in the serial number and I was instantly watching TV. Couldn't have been simpler.

One of the reasons why I got this is that I have some old home movies that I want to put on DVD. I thought I had found one the other day so was really excited to dust off the VCR, connect it to my mac and watch it. I popped in the tape, pressed play and waited for the video I made as a kid to appear on the screen. But instead it was porn. I should have known better. So I watched a little bit of that then grabbed another tape that I found in another box. The label read "The Best of Zak Spears". Hmm, not what I was expecting either, but I watched some of it nonetheless. I may make a copy of that one anyways. It's all footage of Zak Spears before he bulked up on steroids and began resembling a gorilla. In other words, when he was still hot.

So in my spare time I'll continue to go through boxes until I've gone through all the porn and finally find the tapes I'm looking for. Maybe, if I'm feeling like it, I'll even put some up on YouTube for all the world to see. Nothing like a bit of self humiliation.

It's that time of year again

It's the beginning of the year again, and SNAP! is once again open for submissions. I've been submitting pieces for a couple of years now, and every year I run into the same dilemma of whether I want to continue or not.

For those who don't know, SNAP! is an annual fund raiser for ACT (Aids Committee of Toronto). It consists of two auctions - a live auction of donated works by established artists, and a silent auction of works donated by "less-established" artists. There's also a competition for us lesser folk. In order to donate work, you have pay a $10 submission fee for each piece to be considered - not all pieces get chosen for the silent auction. Then you can go to the event and see if your piece is there, and how much it's goes for. Thankfully my work has always made it through every year, and it has sold, but I've never won the competition. Mostly because I'm not sure just what exactly the judges are looking for.

Initially this was fun. I'd submit a few pieces, then buy a couple of tickets for around $30 each, dress up and head down to the Church on Berkley for an entertaining, if not interesting, night out. Not to mention the exposure. Afterwards there'd be a little blurb on the website, mentioning the winners and also a number of pages with all the submitted entries.

Through all the hard work of the organizers, this small event has become extremely popular in the past couple of years. Unfortunately the rise in popularity has come with a cost to us local artists. Last year, due to the number of people attending the event, it was moved to the National Ballet School on Jarvis St. A brand new and larger building. However, this meant that the silent auction pieces were divided into two rooms. Not only that, but the work was displayed on cubicle-type partitions that were set up at alternating angles in an accordion like fashion. When a table was placed in front, you couldn't look at any of the pictures straight on, which made it more difficult to get a good look a them.

The crowd seemed to be made up of mostly people who were there just to be seen, rather than to attend a fund raising event that contributes to a great cause, and also gives some exposure to new artists. It just felt like a lot of the consideration previously given to the lesser folk was lost in the new fabulous event. Also, the only pictures currently on the website are in a crappy slide- show and are mostly comprised of uninteresting pictures of all the fabulous, interesting people at the last party, instead of all the fabulous and interesting artwork that was on display. Very disappointing.

Last, but definitely not least, the cost of contributing to this event has become a factor. Not only do I have to pay for the printing and matting of my work, but as I mentioned before, I also have to pay $10 to submit each one. Then if I want to go to the event and bring someone with me, I have buy two $50 tickets. So the entire thing ends up costing me upwards of $160 or more. It would be even higher if I didn't have the ability to print the photos myself. Given that I'm contributing art and giving them a submission fee, it would be nice if I could get a discount on the tickets as some sort of appreciation for my efforts. It all feels a little too greedy these days, but I guess that's what comes along with success.

Just look at what happened to Fashion Cares.

Las Vegas on the 'Tube

When we went to Vegas a few years ago (I can't believe it's already been that long), I brought along a new camera I'd purchased from Ebay. It's this 3D camera contraption from the 80's. It has four lenses, all at slightly different angles, and when you spend the extra money to send the film to the camera company for processing, they layer the images together and it creates a 3D photo that's hard to look at for prolonged periods of time without getting a headache.

Well I had no such intention, and even if I did the company and technology's long gone. I did think that it would make for an interesting art project at some time. So I took the photos, got them developed and have been sitting on them ever since. Nothing I ever tried worked - until now.

I just ran them through iMovie and discovered that they create this weird 3D animation effect. You can't really tell from the compressed video, but it looked really cool on my computer. I burned it to DVD and looked pretty neat there too. I sense yet another project brewing.

Have I mentioned that I fucking love having a mac?




As a footnote, here's how I made it:

Created an album of the pictures I wanted to use in iPhoto.
Opened iMovie, clicked on Media, then Photos, and was then able to view my iPhoto albums.
Selected pictures, dragged and dropped into the media tray.
Set the amount of time each should be shown.
Previewed movie.
Clicked on Share, then selected Web as the format.
Named the file and hit Save. Movie rendered and done. Uploaded to YouTube.
Want to put it on DVD? Click share, then iDVD.
Movie is rendered and iDVD opens.
Select the opening menu you want, edit it as you desire, stick in a blank DVD and hit Burn.
Done.

Try that on a PC and see how long it takes you. It's hell.

Today I have super powers (but those don't include HTML)

I wish I would have been Green Lantern. He was always one of my favourites.

If Leather Man was a super hero, I'm sure I would have been him.

Your results:
You are Iron Man

Iron Man 85% Green Lantern 85% Spider-Man 75% Superman 70% Hulk 65% Wonder Woman 55% Supergirl 55% Robin 50% The Flash 50% Catwoman 45% Batman 35%

Inventor. Businessman. Genius.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

New Year's Thoughts

Blech. I'm still sick. This Orwellian Cold (I don't know what that's supposed to mean exactly, but it sounded good) just won't go away. Now I've given it to Q. Consequently we stayed in on New Year's, opened a bottle of wine, snacked on a tray composed of melon balls, prosciutto, parmesan cubes; baguette crisps; bruscetta and baked chevre (Yuppie anyone?), and watched Down With Love - a campy romantic comedy, done in a very 60's style, starring Renee Zellweger and Ewen McGregor. It's one of my favourite movies, if for nothing more than the fabulous, colourful outfits and sets. I don't mind Renee Zellweger, but a friend of mine can't stand watching anything she's in. As she puts it "her face always looks like she just smelled poo." I can't argue that.

While I'm loving my new espresso machine, I've also discovered that the frothing attachment makes the best hot chocolate. It's the best of both worlds really.

I had a brain fart this morning that I have to write down before I forget. I think I know how I want to display You Never Knew once it's all finished. I'm thinking of reworking the images slightly and making each of them look like individual panels of a comic. When they're displayed, they will be grouped together in such a way as to make it look like blown up pages of a comic on the wall. It's just an idea at this point, I'll have to play with them to know for sure. A lot can be read into the comic book metaphor though - the association with children, how abuse victims can be accused of making up a story, how an episode (or episodes) of abuse can seem surreal, etc etc. I think it might just work. At the very least it will give me that much more bullshit to sell to a gallery. They love bullshit.