Reason to buy a mac #1073

Yesterday I was setting up a new laptop for a client. It was running Vista. I fucking hate it. Here's what it takes to install a program:

ME: Double clicks EXE file to install iTunes.
PC: The file you clicked on is a program. Do you want to run it?
ME: Clicks YES.
PC: You are about to run iTunes Installer, do you want to run it?
ME: Clicks YES.
PC: Publisher cannot be verified. Do you want to continue?
ME: Clicks YES. Accepts legal mumbo jumbo. Install starts.
PC: (Dims screen) This requires Administrative privileges. Click to continue.
ME: Clicks Continue. Install progresses.
PC: (Dims screen) This requires Administrative privileges. Click to continue.
ME: Clicks Continue. Install progresses.
PC: (Dims screen) This requires Administrative privileges. Click to continue.
ME: Clicks Continue. Install progresses. Install Finishes.
ME: Clicks iTunes shortcut.
PC: You are about to run iTunes. Do you want to do this?
ME: YES I WANT TO FUCKING DO THIS!!! WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK I CLICKED ON THE ITUNES ICON IN THE FIRST PLACE? DUMBASS!! FUCK OFF!! (throws laptop out the window).

Ok, so I didn't throw it out the window, but came close. This is progress?

Goin' back to my roots

This weekend I began my decent into the world of TPT - Trailer Park Trash. Q decided that he wanted a trailer to go camping in, so I tagged along as we went to Newcastle on Friday night to look, Shelburne on Saturday to look elsewhere, and back to Newcastle on Sunday to buy. I don't know why I bothered to quit smoking (3 weeks today!) since it's a requirement for a full TPT all access membership.

I haven't been camping since I was a kid, and all we had was a tent. I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle being in a trailer with only a stove, microwave, fridge, feezer, outdoor BBQ, Queen size bed (for 2 queens), LCD TV with built in DVD (and A/V connector for a Wii!!), stereo, toilet, shower, furnace and A/C. Roughin' it is going to be hard. With the bunk beds and fold out bench, it supposedly can sleep 6 - but only if that comprises of 2 adults and 4 children, or 4 midgets or a combination of both. Maybe more if everyone's a midget. Did I mention that being in the top bunk with no window is akin to being in a coffin? Oh and another thing, I'm not sure why but all trailers and RV's are designed by and decorated for The Golden Girls. It's appalling. Just because you're camping doesn't mean you don't have style (or does it?) This trailer was the most "fashion forward" one we could find. That's not the sole reason for getting it, but it helped in the decision making process.

Provided that all the paperwork goes through, we'll be picking it up this weekend. Now all we have to do is find a site to put it. Thankfully my parents live on a farm so we can put it there if we get a spot in time.

Here are some pics. Ours isn't this exact configuration, but you get the idea. Note the awesome blue LED's. If the trailer's a rockin', don't come a knockin'.

Much better now

Yeah, I was having a moment there the other day. It's amazing what kind of pictures come up in google when you type "cigarette." I held out.

In fact I'm feeling much better. Since I've quit my energy has gone up, I am a lot more awake in the morning and have a great sense of accomplishment, which adds to my positive mood and keeps me going every day. I'm even losing weight. I attribute that to the acupuncture. Part of the stabbing involves activating the points that curb hunger. I was only munchy for the first few days. Now I'm fine - mostly.

And the weekend is almost here! Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I WANT A CIGARETTE!!

AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!


OK. Now I feel better.

What would Brian Boitano do?

It's 1990 and The Dini Petty Show is at the height of it's popularity. You decide to watch it one day. Unsure if you liked it or not, you watch it again the next day. You finally decide you don't like it. From this point on do you:

A. Change the channel and never watch it again.
B. Spend that time masturbating using that hand lotion in the bathroom that no one ever touches, but then realize after the fact that it's really perfume-y and you can't get the lavender smell off and end up smelling like grandma for the rest of the day.
C. Turn on the VCR, pop in a tape and watch the episode of that cool new "90210" show that you taped the other night.
D. Pick up the phone and call a friend (providing that you have any).
E. Watch The Dini Petty Show incessantly every day and call the station after each and every episode to complain.

Fight Night

Saturday night we went out for some food in The Beaches Beach, and as we were heading back to the car, some movement across the street caught Q's eye. We turned to look and saw a man, his girlfriend/wife and what I assumed to be their 6 or 7 year old son emerge from behind some cars. The two "adults" were arguing and she began walking ahead of them and he would continuously grab her arm and she would yank it away. The kid silently plodded along behind them. It all looked very wrong - especially when he was screaming in her face.

There was also a group of people over there who were watching the spectacle move down the sidewalk. We went over to ask what had happened and apparently the man had knocked the woman down (which we didn't see because of parked cars). A woman in the group tried to dial 911 to report a domestic assault but her phone wasn't working so Q called on his and reported the incident.

While waiting for the police to show up, the girlfriend/wife left and the guy and his son wandered aimlessly up and down the street. All the other witnesses soon disbanded and we eventually went home too, figuring that the cops probably weren't going to show or the people would leave by the time they did arrive. Well, the cops did show and we got a call asking us to go back down and meet them.

As luck would have it, the trio were walking up the street as we parked in front of the cruiser. Q got out and pointed them out to the police. As we sat in the car watching the cops questioning them in my rearview mirror, I began to have doubts. Did we have the right to intrude on someone else's private affair? What right did we have to call the cops on someone having an argument? How awful would it be for the child to see his father taken away in handcuffs - and to be the one responsible for it? Q was adamant that we'd done the right thing - something which most people wouldn't do. We weren't the only ones concerned by what we saw either, and deep down I know that what I saw was disturbing - especially because there was a child present.

The cop came back to the window, asked for our statements again, and told us that the couple were completely denying that anything was wrong and that she'd fallen and he simply grabbed her to help her up. They were also arguing over the dinner bill. It was bullshit but we didn't see him push her down - other people did and they were gone. All I know is that we saw a nasty argument that should not have taken place in public, let alone with a child present. But in the end they convinced the cops that it was all a misunderstanding and we went our separate ways.

The couple were full of shit. I may not have heard their story but I know it was a cover up. Their son gave it away. His face and demeanor never changed throughout the whole evening. From the argument, to when she disappeared and he walked aimlessly up and down the sidewalk with his father, to when the cops started questioning them - he had the same, blank look on his face. Almost removed, like he was in his own world to protect himself from what was happening around him. He never spoke once. My heart went out to him. I can't imagine what he must go through at home.

I'd like to say I can't believe that she would protect him, but I can. It's all part of being a victim.

Hello My Name Is __________

Today I'm interviewing for another tech to help me with my daily duties. He'll be mine to manage - kind of like getting your first pet only I'll be cleaning up any figurative messes he makes instead of stinky ones.

I've never been on this side of the table before. It's weird but I welcome the challenge and experience. I have some questions prepared but mostly I'm going to go with the flow. I'm interested in personality almost more than experience.

It's time to put all that acting and theatre work I did as a teenager to the test, and portray that I'm professional and organized. Hopefully I can keep that up for more than 5 minutes. I didn't wake up this morning thinking of cigarettes (which is a good sign) but I'm craving one now. I'm a bit nervous.

1:16pm - Well that's over with. Wasn't as bad as I'd thought. Think I found a good candidate too.

NSFW!

Don't.

Click.

Here.

I warned you. (runs and hides under the bed)

You make me touch your hands for stupid reasons

I love that line - must use it somewhere.

From a poorly written breakup letter read aloud.

OMG! THOSE EYES! MAKE IT STOP!!

File under Heino(us):

Get out of my dreams...... And into my mouth

Saturday night I had a dream that I was smoking. I woke up with that icky feeling you get when you've had way too many the night before. In fact I felt ill the entire weekend. And talk about a bad mood. I was so miserable on Sunday that I didn't know what to do with myself. I literally wanted to crawl out of my skin I felt so awful. It wasn't that I wanted a cigarette, I just felt gross inside and out. I attribute it to a second wave of withdrawal. fortunately I had a meeting on Sunday afternoon which required me to be "on." I was there long enough that I snapped out of my mood and was tolerable to be around for the rest of the day.

It has been exactly one week since I gave it up. Smoking diet = success. Cleansing diet = complete and utter failure. Oh well. I've discovered that I just don't have the energy right now to do both. One thing at a time.

I was looking at a VW Golf on the weekend. It was completely made for me - the GTI Fahrenheit Edition. What's so special about that you ask? It's orange. Orange body, with orange trim inside and orange stitching on the leather and loaded with a ton of toys. It was number 21/150 made worldwide. It was also $35,000 dollars. Sigh. I cry a little inside every time I think of it.

Day 5

Somehow I've managed to make it through 5 days of non smoking. Feels like the physical withdrawals are pretty much over with. Now it's on to breaking the habit. I'm still almost reaching in my pocket at certain times of the day, catching myself just as I'm about to reach for the pack that isn't there. I've received some very helpful advice from people this week that has helped my mental state (although there's only so much one can do for my mental state):

1. You are not quitting smoking - you have quit smoking. Quitting implies that you are still hanging on and haven't given up the habit yet. To "have quit" is final.

2. In that same vein it's important to think of yourself as a non-smoker. That mental shift can help stop you too.

3. Take it one cigarette craving at a time - not one day at a time (contrary to my previous post). Just concentrate on making it past that craving, since it will only last a few minutes. Then concentrate on the next one. Before you know it all those small victories will add up to an entire day, then week, then month etc.

These may sound hokey but I'm finding that they are helping me see the progress that's being made. I also don't want to pick up another cigarette again because I don't want to go through the hell that was Monday and Tuesday a second time.

As for the cleansing diet, I'm finding it difficult to stick to. All my concentration is on quitting smoking and the rest of the energy is spent trying to avoid lots of foods and finding alternatives. I am staying away from the fattening stuff though, I don't want to end up looking like all those gargantuan obese people on reality shows (or those we saw at Wegmans in Erie, PA).

I've also been going for acupuncture to reduce the withdrawal symptoms. However the majority of nerves that help with this are in the ear. I don't like having a needle stuck in my ear - let alone 5 of them. But I bitch and he does it anyways and I bitch some more. It's a love/hate thing. This morning I had those 5 plus another 12 on my hands/legs/arms/feet.

On another note, I was reading yesterday that Peter Jackson has picked up the movie rights for The Lovely Bones. It's interesting because as I began reading it I thought that it would make a great film and that he would be the perfect one to do it. Anyone who's seen Heavenly Creatures will know what I mean.

I'll be looking at the Shopaholic series when I'm done.

I AM ON FIRE!!!!

This whole no smoking thing is going better than expected. Tuesday was a rough day though. Woke up ready to kill anyone who even so much as looked at me the wrong way. Must make a mental note to buy Q a special something for putting up with Super Bitch(ier than usual). My snackitite is lessing today too. Still craving, but more out of habit than anything else.

Yesterday I went to a client's company "fun day"- which consisted of going to a resort for the day, sitting by the pool, eating, drinking, going to the spa for a facial, eating, drinking some more and going home. It's also usually a day filled with smoking - of which I had none. I wasn't going to drink any alcohol either (stupid cleansing diet), but thought it would be a good reward for not caving in a difficult situation. So I rewarded myself a few times.

On Tuesday I decided to buy a book to distract myself with. On a whim I picked up Alice Sebold's "The Lovely Bones" from the bargain table. Had never heard of it before, but the premise sounded good. It's basically about a young girl who's murdered and goes to heaven. From there she watches her family search for her and her murderer, all the grief they go through and how they essentially all fall apart in some way as the years go on. I couldn't put it down. I was hooked from the first couple of pages. In fact I read 3/4 of it yesterday.

Oh, and you now how they say that you should always wear sunscreen even if it's overcast outside? They aren't lying. My legs turned lobster red in spots within an hour. That's what happens when you get lost in a book and neglect to put on the sunscreen before you start reading.

Consequently I'm on fire today, but the Medicated Solarcain Sunburn relief is working. As I was applying it liberally last night, the Solarcain smell brought back many childhood memories. There were always two staples in our house growing up - Solarcain for the sunburns and Bactine for bug bites, slivers, cuts, scrapes and anything else under the sun. Some things never change.

My new theme song

Things I Didn 't Do Today

I did not get up when the alarm went off.
I did not make myself a delectable cup of espresso this morning.
I did not take said espresso out on the back deck.
I did not fire up a cigarette, take a drag, take a sip of espresso, look around at all the trees and flowers, relax and slide into my day.
I did not have cereal for breakfast. I had a yogurt.
I did not have a smoke on my way to the office.
I did not have one when I arrived.
I did not stick to the no coffee rule either. I caved and got a tall americano at Starbucks though. Technically I'm not supposed to be off coffee until next week and am supposed to be reducing my intake in the next 7 days. So that's my rationale. It's getting me by.

It's amazing the number of things I didn't do today! I wonder what I won't do tomorrow? And the day after that? And the day after that? And the day after that?

Shoot me.

It's only 10:30.

Weeeeeeeeeee!

I finally broke down yesterday and bought a Nintendo Wii. OMG it's a shitload of fun! Highly recommended. I'm hooked on the boxing. You actually grab a remote in both hands and punch at the screen. No buttons, just movement. Fun.

It good to have a distraction. Come Monday I am going on a cleansing diet and giving up smoking - for good. I've given it a lot of thought lately and the decision is final. I'm not going to let myself fail this time.

For me going on a cleansing diet is the best way to quit. You suddenly deprive yourself of so many other things (sugar, caffeine, wheat, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate) that the nicotine cravings get lost in all the other hell you're going through. I've done it before and it's worked.

Good thing about cleansing diet - increased energy, get rid of toxins in the body, lose weight.

Bad things about cleansing diet - giving up all food that is worth living for, the headaches and nausea that hit on the 2nd or 3rd day as your body goes through withdrawl. Have the Advil handy.

Vacation

I know I've dropped off the radar but I was on a much needed and deserved vacation. Q and I spent the past 4 days in Erie PA. What's in Erie you ask? OUTLET MALL. The crappy US dollar + no tax in malls = new wardrobe. Considering deals like the scoring of 8 t-shirts and 1 pair of shorts for $97 at the Banana Republic Outlet, the trip was well worth it. We went with empty suitcases and came back full.

Surprisingly there were two gay bars in Erie. Unsurprisingly they were, umm, interesting. The Zone had quite the collection of people, including 100 year old drag queens. I'm sorry to say that a cheap wig and miniskirt from Sears do not a drag queen make. Anyone remember the little old guy from Benny Hill? Not too far off.


The other, Trance, was a bit better, with a more nightclub feel to it. Would have been better if there had been more people there though. However the 2.25 vodkas made up for it. I still can't get over how cheap it is to drink there.

As usual I took a few pictures to commemorate the trip:

My kind of bathroom.

Hungry or horny? A bit of both maybe?

I know a few people who should be living on this street (myself included).

This is "Seen Your Frog." I don't quite get it either, but Wegmans felt it necessary.

Definitely not Kosher.