Some call me, Tim?

Spamalot was fantastic. Just as good or better than I'd heard. Go. See. It. Now.

The actors looked like they were having a great time on stage, which just added to excitement (and since we had 4th row center seats it was easy to tell). At one point the Knight of Ni screwed up his lines and started ad-libbing to try make sense of what he'd just said. Instead he just dug himself in further, but kept on going straight faced, making almost everyone else up on stage crack and start laughing. It ended up being one of the funniest parts of the show and got a huge applause. The sign of a true professional.

I didn't have any pre-conceived notions of the plot, or what changes they'd made from the movie. I did this on purpose so that I wouldn't have anything spoiled or be disappointed - and I was far from it. It's a fantastic adaptation.

And while the Toronto cast was excellent, I would have given almost anything to see the Broadway show with Tim Curry, Hank Azaria and David Hyde Pierce. I don't think anyone could top Tim Curry as King Arthur.

What's he do? Nibble your bum?

Help Help! I'm being repressed!!

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAMSPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

We're going tonight!!

Bearded Ladies

Here's a shot of the original Charlie's Angels at the recent Emmy's. Not one of them look like they're pushing 60. And isn't it odd how they all manage to have such perfect cheekbones?

Click the pic for a closer look.

It's still morning, isn't it.

You just know it's going to be a shitty day when you're in a bad mood and trying to pry open this stupid 9 pin serial connector from the 80's and the screwdriver slips and takes a rather large, triangular chunk out of your thumb. Then you look down and think "This looks like it should hurt a lot more than it does." Can't wait for the infection.

On a brighter note, Q went to the St Lawrence Market on Saturday and came home with loads of goodies. As he was unpacking the bags, he held up fresh lasagna noodles and proclaimed "You're making me lasagna bitch!!" Since he had to work late last night, I stopped by the grocery store and picked up everything else I needed to make a tomato, cucumber, red onion and feta salad followed by the aforementioned lasagna. I had a lot of fun making it, Howard had a lot of fun eating all of the cheese bits that fell onto the floor, and Q was pleasantly surprised to find dinner waiting for him when he got home. We ended up having a nice, romantic dinner by candlelight. Have to make a point of doing that more often.

Narcie

Since Peter has been so insistent, here are some photos of my new 'do. It was recently approved by a sassy black woman at my office, so I'm quite confident it looks good. These pics were taken in my new bathroom, with an almost (for 4 weeks now) finished shower behind me. Couldn't use the flash so the colour's kind of off.

Please be advised that it is now 11:00pm and my hair is no where near as fabulous as it was this morning.

Front

Right Side

Left Side

Back

In this last shot, the camera chose to take focus on The Schnozz instead of my noggin. It was part of our house warming gift from Q's mom. We love it. Perfect for our bathroom.

Streaker

Q and I were in Kingston for the weekend. We got rained out most of the time but I didn't care. I was just glad to be away. Sunday morning we headed off to Gananoque for the 1000 Islands 3 Hour Tour. Thankfully the rain stayed away until we returned to the shore.

Since neither of us had tried out the telephoto lens for our camera, we decided to bring it with us. It was perfect for taking pictures of cottages on far away islands, and just generally neat to have. Our ride was pleasant and uneventful until I spotted a speedboat full of kids heading our way. One of the guys began taking off his clothes as they approached. That's when I realized we were about to be streaked and that's when I grabbed my camera and began shooting pictures as they flew by. There's no way that they couldn't have seen me following them from one end of the boat to the other. Q and I couldn't stop laughing. Everyone else was shocked at what they'd just seen.



The only thing I can say about the resulting picture is no wonder that guy ripped his clothes off with a package like that (NSFW). Oh, and he's not Jewish either.

No Apologies Necessary

I just came across the article "Art Does not Apologize" in Wired (from Jockohomo's blog) detailing the author's opinions on the merits of digital photography and art. Basically he states that unless it's shot on 35mm and developed by hand, or painted onto canvas, it's not art. What a load of bullshit.

I don't get offended very easily, but I took great offence at this article. I've been warned about this type of prejudice by gallery owners in Toronto, and have experienced it first hand. It always leaves me with one question, since when did art become solely about the medium?? Does it matter that much? That's the kind of self righteous bullshit that I've run into far too often. I think it's hypocritical for someone to deem something not to be art because it doesn't confine to their set of rules. In fact, isn't that what art is about? Pushing boundaries, changing views, taking things completely out of context? To me, art should invoke a feeling, good or bad. Sometimes you're not really sure what the feeling is, but you love it. Or you absolutely hate it. Either way it's got your attention.

According to this man, if I take my Canon Digital Rebel XT, choose the lens I want, set up a shot, set the aperture, shutter speed, ISO, etc, take a picture, import it into my computer, adjust the colour/brightness/contrast, crop it and print it at home on a professional printer, it's crap. However, if I were to take a 35mm Rebel, adjust how I want it, take the exact same picture, develop the film and print it in a darkroom, then it's a wonderful piece of art. I don't get it.

He also mentions time as a deciding factor. Well, let me tell you that getting the perfect print takes time no matter what you're doing. I've wasted many hours, ink, and sheets of paper getting what I want out of a photograph. Also, I don't just "photograph" something. I manipulate it to what I want it to be. I'll literally spend hours "painting" a picture, sometimes pixel by pixel to achieve the end result. It can take days, weeks, even months for it to be finished. Apparently that counts for nothing.

Now I don't consider myself to be a true photographer. I lack the in depth background knowledge that I believe one should have to label themselves as such, but I think that's true for any profession. I have a good eye though, and when I find the time to take a few courses and get some more experience under my belt, then I'll feel comfortable saying that. In the meantime I do consider myself to be an artist, a digital artist if you want to be exact. I express myself through a medium that I understand, am comfortable with, and that finds me voice for what I want to say.

And I don't apologize for that either.

Ask the expert

When you go to Ask.com and do a search for Benicio Del Toro, I come up as #7!!

Click to enlarge (no pun intended).

Brian Boitano Will Love It!!

It's true. Hell is freezing over. I always swore I'd never get one, but my phone is dying and I'm considering getting a Crackberry. It just makes sense with the small amount of time I'm spending in the office these days.

Lord Help Me.

You Never Knew

Seeing as how I haven't had much time to do anything creative lately, I've given lots of thought to what I want to do. I can't remember if I mentioned it before or not, but I've decided to name my next group of pictures "You Never Knew." My mind works in weird and wonderful ways, and I'm going to attempt to document exactly how this whole project got started.

It began with Goldfrapp's song U Never Know from the Supernature album (get it if you don't have it already). I've always loved music that inspires images in my head, and this song is one of them. I've been interested in stop-motion animation lately and began thinking about how I would use it to make a video for this song. Stay with me here.

The look and feel of it would be very Metropolis-esque. It would center around a mad(??) scientest who creates a female robot on a large table with lots of vacuum tubes and electricity sparking everywhere like in Frankenstein. The purpose of this robot would be to do all his bidding and he'd treat it like a slave. The problem is, this robot falls in love with him. It's either because a) there was a mistake in his programming which inadvertantly instructs her to love him, or b) he sadistically programmed her that way (not sure which yet). He has also programmed her that loving a human is strictly fobidden, so she's terribly conflicted. She loves this man, who treats her like she's nothing, but she's never able to express it to him.

Consequently she longs to be human, and that, for me is reflected in the singing. This is complicated to explain if you haven't heard the song. The chorus has these short, orchestral hits which are replied to with an electronic sounding "ah" a sort of musical call and answer. To me, that's her trying to sing, but she can't. The words and runs in the chorus make her inability that much more apparent, as she can only reply to each with a single note.

Didn't get much farther than that, as far as the story goes, but I think in the end she kills herself or dies in some way (I'm a Gemini, we get so bored with things so easily).

Anyways, that got me thinking about my experiences growing up, and my relationships. I always felt like I wanted to express myself but never could. Communication isn't big in my family. My past boyfriends (except Q) have always been overbearing, controlling, possessive and abusive in some way or another. The worst was with Psycho. With him I was having to endure an emotional rollercoaster, with lots of big ups and big downs. He also became an abusive and violent alcoholic in the latter part of our relationship. I felt trapped. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I wanted Psycho to know exactly what he was doing to me. I wanted to talk about it with friends but I couldn't.


While mulling this over, my thoughts have expanded out toward all the victims out there who are, or have been, in the same position. Anyone who's been a victim of any sort of abuse, be it physical, mental, emotional or sexual will know exactly what I'm talking about. This new collection is dedicated to me and to them. "You Never Knew" is what I say to the loved ones in my life who would have helped me through those tough times. I know you would have helped me, but you just never knew because I couldn't tell you.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how my brain works.

Worship Me

Your Penis Name Is...

Phantom Lord of Ultimate Darkness

Penis Name Generator

Who thought this was a good idea?

I've had two support calls over the last two days dealing with an issue that I've never heard of in the six and a half years I've been working with computers. Yesterday a client calls me and says that his screen is upside down. The entire desktop and icons were the wrong way. He had to flip his monitor upside to work until I could get it fixed.

I'm googling anything I can find while talking to him on the phone. He was explaining that it happened after hitting CTRL-ALT-DEL and it was at that moment that I came across something similar on a support site. Apparently some video driver developer thought that it would be extremely useful to include the ability to rotate the screen with a series of commands: CTRL+ALT + arrow. CTRL+ALT+down flips the screen upside down, while the up arrow puts it right side up. Hitting the left or right arrow will rotate it 90 degrees as well. I had him try it and it fixed his problem.

Today I just had a call about a screen that was sideways. Had them try the same trick and it worked for them too.

WHO IN THE HELL DECIDED TO IMPLEMENT THIS "FEATURE"?? WHO I ASK YOU?

The only thing it does is confuse users and support staff.

It doesn't work on all computers, but would be a great way to screw with someone.

I like my hair

It's amazing how getting your hair cut can make you feel refreshed. I forgot how much it always makes me feel better. Not to mention I spent the entire time laughing, chatting and gossiping. I think I enjoy that more. Francesco did some neat designs with my hair. It's almost shaved around the sides and back, but still fuax-hawk-esque (how's that for a word) on top. Then he cut some subtle lines in the sides and back. No, they're not Batman stencils from the 80's, but just soft, straight lines put in. I was sceptical when he brought up the idea, but I agreed anyways and I like it. I'll have to post some pictures.

I was feeling so good afterwards that I had to celebrate with a new expensive CD from HMV - because I hadn't spent enough money already. I've always been a fan of Hed Kandi, and I discovered that the originator jumped ship and started his own label - Tokyo Project. It's just as good.

Went home, picked up Q, and went down to the Indian restaurant in the Beaches - excuse me, the Beach - and had our usual: onion bahjies, butter chicken, beef boonah, rice and naan bread. A good night.

We're off to the Thousand Islands for the weekend. Weather's supposed to be beautiful. Hope I don't get sick on the boat.

Sniff Sniff

Q and I are planning on going away for the weekend to get a much needed break from the city. I'm coming down with a cold. It never fails. Happens almost every time. Spent the week in San Fran with a nasty head cold and thought my head was going to explode on the plane. Spent a lot of time in NY sleeping because I was really under the weather. I almost didn't want to go then.

On a brighter note, I'm getting my hair cut tonight. Always makes me feel better. I think I'll just give my hairdresser carte blanche and let him do whatever he wants. I like surprises.

Is it gay to call the person who cuts your hair your "hairdresser", and the place where you go "the Salon?" Q always makes fun of me for saying that. I don't know what else to call them that doesn't sound faggy. It is not a Barber Shop with an old fart with an electric razor. It's in Yorkville. I pay, but I always get a great cut. They're the only place that has been able to tame my mane. Somehow "barber" just doesn't cut it (no pun intended).

Sink or Swim

Ever get the feeling that you're drowning and you're treading water as fast as you can and are only surviving on the small gasps of air you inhale when you manage to get your head above water for a few seconds?

This Sucks

Airline travel is changed forever - yet again. Soon we will no longer be able to bring anything on board an aircraft. I always bring my ipod and load up my knapsack with snacks and drinks since what they serve on the plane is complete shite. That won't be allowed anymore. I don't see it getting any better in the future. I mean, who ever thought we'd reach a point where we'd have to X-ray our shoes?

WTF?

I was bored and did a Google image search on Jason Newsted from the soon-to-be super duper famous Supernova. What came up was, well, weird.

I am 27 Years Old

The Internet never lies. Not too far off though.

You Are 27 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Relax

Yesterday was a really awful day. One of my clients couldn't get her computer to work properly at her 4500 sq ft cottage on a lake. So I had to get up early, drive all the way up to the Muskokas, fix her computer and spend the rest of the day playing pool, swimming, drinking and sitting on the dock having the most interesting conversations. Then I had to relax in the hammock for a few moments before being served a wonderful dinner (steaks from Pusateri's) and wine. Unfortunately I didn't have time for a hot tub after dinner because I wanted to be home before midnight. Life's so unfair.

There was also an actor there who had recently finished a series with a famous Hollywood actress. She's been around, and was pretty open about it. We got the following dirt:

Biggest cock in Hollywood - Jack Nicholson, though he has trouble getting it up.
Smallest cock - Ray Liotta
Second smallest cock - Benicio Del Toro, but he makes up for it with his pussy eating abilities.
Lara Flynn Boyle really did have her anus bleached.

I couldn't go through this alone

This is the song that The Hoff performed last night. It's called "Jump in my car" instead of the more aptly named "Jump in front of a bus." I love his dance moves *cough*. Now please excuse me while I go wretch in the corner.

Want some wine with that?

Last night I sat in horror watching David Hassellhoff sing on America's Got Talent. At one point I swear I saw crackers dancing in the background to compliment the cheese on stage.

I think I'm suffering from post traumatic stress disorder this morning.

Fault in the system

According to this news story, if you are convicted in the state of Ohio of having sex with a child under the age of 13, it carries a mandatory life sentence.

Why don't we have that here? Why isn't that law everywhere? Then men like Peter Whitmore, who have had numerous convictions over the span of a decade or more, wouldn't be able to walk the streets and wouldn't have access to children.

Unless you've been through it yourself, or know someone who has, you can't even begin to imagine the horrors and scars it leaves. I was reading the other day that we now classify pedophilia as a sexual preference, and not as a disease, so therefore there is no cure. While in some ways I believe this to be true, there is something else there too. Pedophiles are very cunning, kniving and maniplative and go to great, detailed lengths to ensnare, groom, massage and get the trust of their innocent victims. Usually seeking out those who have a troubled homelife and are seeking some sort of guidance and/or father figure. It's sick. It's not an impulse, like having a one night stand. It's more often than not, a calculated, cruel plan to get what they want - and to keep getting it.

Our legal system doesn't recognize this, and truly doesn't understand the impact it has on the victims for the rest of their lives. Especially when people get enough courage to tell their stories as adults. I hold our justice system accountable for this recent case of abduction. If they were to treat monsters such as Peter Whitmore like the threat to society that they really are (and who's a larger threat than someone who prey's on children?) then this simply would never have happened. I can't blame the parents. This man knew exactly what he was doing and they fell blindly into his trap.

UPS is a RIPoff

We bought a floor lamp online a few weeks ago from a US based site. It was $79 plus $29 for shipping. Not bad for a floor lamp, especially since we haven't seen anything we've liked here in Toronto. Well anything that's somewhat reasonably priced.

The package arrived today with a C.O.D. of $42.55. Apparently UPS charges an arm and a leg for Customs Brokerage Fees. I was slightly pissed, to say the least. I let the UPS guy know, and fully agreed, even going so far as to say that all the guys he works with never use UPS when buying from Ebay or anything.

I also called the online company to find out what the story was and spoke with a very nice, sympathetic woman. She said that they get calls like this from their Canadian customers all the time. She also advised that I could have chosen USPS instead at the time of ordering. I told her that the reason I didn't was that their page made it seem like UPS was the only choice for Canada, since it was the only selection with reference to it. She apologized and said that she's asked the web developer to change that numerous times.

In the end it's not entirely their fault that UPS likes to rape people, but I wish they'd have made the options clearer. I had no choice but to pay it, but lesson learned.

Never use UPS for anything.

The Return of the Hoff

My latest guilty pleasure is watching America's Got Talent. For anyone who watched it last night and screamed in horror when David Hassellhoff threatened to sing on the show tonight, let me refer you to an earlier post.

The hot juggler didn't get to perform, but at least they gave him a few seconds of airtime. He should have been shirtless at the very least. Guess I'll have to hold out for the wildcard round.

BLUE

Another day. Another case of the blahs. I need a vacation bad. I always use all my vacation every year and this year I haven't taken any yet. Burnt. Out.

Saturday we're going back to Port Hope for my friend Shannon's parent's annual long weekend field party. It will be a back-to-my-roots kind of day and should be a lot of fun. Q and I spend the whole time laughing at all the hicks. Last year one guy arrived in his pickup truck with a beer in hand, one in his shirt pocket, and others in his coat. Never mind the 2-4 in the cab beside him. Someone else brought their dog named Molson (for those who don't know, that's a brewing company here in Canada).

The first year they had it was for Shannon's Jack and Jill - I mean Buck and Doe (as they like to call it). There was a raffle at one point and someone, in their drunken stupor, dropped their ticket and it flew into the bonfire - so he walked in to get it. The following was heard:

Wife: What the hell are you doin' in the fire? Get out of there!

Drunken Husband: Shu'up bitch! I'm gettin' my ticket!

Which was later joined by someone screaming "Yell Bingo Mama!!" when raffle numbers were being called.

Ahh, good times. It's a lot of fun, everyone is nice and I've always been treated like part of the family, since I've been friends with Shannon ever since Kindergarten - and they all absolutely adore Q. Can't wait.

Can't forget my 2-4!

Can somebody please tell me where my brain went?

Again I had a fantastic idea for my blog this morning. I was even chuckling to myself in my car on the way to work. Now it's gone - again. Dammit!

I need a vacation. This whole house/reno/$$$/work thing has gotten me completely stressed out. I almost hit my breaking point last week. I can't remember anything anymore.

On another note, I've devised a new audio system for my house. My computer currently sits in the basement, and has all my music on it. I have an Airport Express upstairs which is used to stream the music wirelessly from iTunes to my stereo. The only catch is I either have to be at my PC to pick the songs, or I can fire up the laptop and choose them from there. Sounds pretty good, but I just got it one step better. I found a program called Netremote that you can run on a Pocket PC PDA that lets you controls iTunes. So now I'm scouring ebay looking for an iPaq or Dell Axim PDA with wifi so that I can put Netremote on it and have instant access to my music collection from anywhere in the house. Because the Airport is small and portable, I can take it outside with me if I want and plug it into a stereo out there.

I love technology.

Update: I got the goods from ebay! Did I mention that the software allows you to program it as a remote too? Hopefully I can get rid of the 4 remotes that are currently spread across the coffee table.

Stay tuned for updates in a couple of weeks detailing how convoluted the whole thing is, how much of a pain in the ass it is to set up, and how it doesn't work as it should.