Time Out

As of tomorrow I am on a much needed and deserved vacation. I'll be back after thanksgiving - which will not be spent with my parents. We're having Q's family over instead.

Last night I woke up at 4:00 am to the sound of voices - and not the usual ones in my head. They were coming from downstairs. For a minute I lied there, trying to listen to what the intruders who'd just broken into my house were saying. I got very confused when I heard someone say "Dude, where'd you learn to surf like that?" and then some kid say "That was awesome!" Small children don't typically break into homes and discuss surfing techniques. Slowly, in a post-sleep haze, I came to the realization that it was coming from the TV downstairs. The cable box had taken upon itself to turn on in the middle of the night. Unfortunately for me I'd left the stereo on too, so all the sound came blaring into the living room. I somehow managed to make my way downstairs and turn it off.

I'm going to have a stern talk with our poltergeist when I get home. It's one thing to stack all the dining room chairs in a pyramid when I turn my back or slide me across the kitchen floor on my ass, but it's an entirely different story to be so inconsiderate and interrupt my sleep. If this keeps up, someone's getting an exorcism.

Cliffhanger

If I was in the highly unlikely hypothetical situation of being out on a hike with my brother, and he slipped and fell down an embankment and was left holding on by a few fingers as he dangled precariously over certain death, I don't know how quickly I'd react to help him - if at all.

Isn't that awful?

Must be something in air

I know of a few people that are having parental issues these days. It must be that time of year. I just joined them.

My brother Jason is a good for nothing, free loading, lying, manipulative asshole. He's never been able to (or had to) fend for himself or take responsibility for his actions. My parents have always bail him out of everything. Neither my Dee, my sister, or I have spoken to him in about 10 years. We simply refuse to have anything to do with him. He's done some truly awful things to my parents, the whole family in general, and to his own children. He's never apologized for any of it. Not to mention his bitch wife is one of the most disgustingly evil women on this planet.

Back in May he decided to leave the festering cunt for the 143,596th time and showed up on my parents' doorstep. He's been there ever since with no plans to leave or even look for a place of his own. Consequently his 11 and 12 year old emotionally damaged children come down to visit him every other weekend. His little girl is an absolute sweetheart, but has problems, and his son will end up in jail before he's 18. Fun. It has completely disrupted my parents' lives.

Up until this point, my parents had been able to keep his life separate from ours, but would bitch about him from time to time. Now that he is permanently there, it makes it difficult for me to visit, or for my sister to drop by with her kids. Sunday night my mother invited Dee down for dinner. When she arrived Jason was there and the table was set for seven instead of six people. He does tend to just disappear from time to time, so Dee agreed to go thinking that he'd be gone. The shit hit the fan.

Jason didn't want to join them for dinner and my mother threw a fit. Dee then joined in, had words with the both of them and told my mother that she didn't appreciate being ambushed like that. My mother then proceeded to tell her that she has to deal with this (which my parents haven't done) and not to ignore it. Then she proceeded to throw down her oven mitts and storm upstairs. A typical hypocritical action from her. Dee packed up the kids and went to McDonalds. Then she called me when she got home.

I'd had enough by this point anyways and I proceeded to call them and got my father on the phone. I told him what I thought of the whole situation, what I thought of my brother, and that they needed to fix this by making Jason own up to it. It wasn't my job or Dee's to fix this problem. Then last night I got my mother on the phone and asked her what the hell she was thinking asking Dee down to have dinner with her brother. Of course I got the sob story about wanting a whole family again, which i didn't buy because it was just another one of her schemes, and then I got the "Fine, we just won't have family get togethers anymore. Your father and I will just go away at Christmas." To which I replied "That's typical. Run away from the problems instead of fixing them like you always do." That didn't go over so well.

Anyways the conversation ended with me being the ungrateful one who doesn't do enough to help his parents, (because doing things like booking them hotels at discounted rates through my connections every time they travel, and getting them out of a legal mess a few years ago on top of loaning them the money for the legal fees is such an ungrateful thing to do) and how it's just awful that my sister and I gang up on them and attack them. All of which was followed by an over dramatic "I can't take this anymore!!" CLICK

Typical.

Static

On Saturday I dragged Q back home for a first birthday party for Matthew, my cousin Jenny's baby. I went to high school with her husband, and he had invited a few of his friends who still live in the Port Hope / Cobourg area to the party. I last saw these people in 1995, and they hadn't changed at all!! I swear they were plucked out of that decade and plopped into the present. Gerry was still wearing a sweatshirt, jeans that were frayed at the bottom and sandals. Jason was still in his striped polo shirt.

I don't get it. How can 10 years go by and a person look exactly the same? It must be what happens when you never leave a small town. Neither of them recognized me (thankfully), until we started into a conversation. I swear I'd have a fit if someone said I hadn't changed a bit in over a decade. I'd probably run home screaming and shave my head or something.

Red Rubber Boots are Sexy

Just ask this man (safe for work).

Semen

Yes. Semen. Ever wonder what the definition of Semen is? Well the all knowing, community created Wikipedia has the answer - and a shot of it dripping off of wallpaper to boot.

I win!!

I win! I win! I win! I didn't lose! I win! And I didn't have to get all super cunty bitchy either (damn).

After having my rear brakes replaced and the rotors machined because my parking brake was faulty, and having to pay for it, I wasn't a happy camper on Saturday. Initially I was told that the parking brake cables would be replaced under warranty, but the other work may not be covered.

On Wednesday I was told that Hyundai Canada agreed only to pay for the brake pads and their installation - and only the dealer cost at that. They wouldn't pay for the rotor machining. Of course I said that was unacceptable.

This morning I placed a call to the service manager, and left a very pleasant, professional message asking him to call me about the situation.

At 8:00 tonight I recieved a call from the dealership that Hyundai had also agreed to pay for the rotors (at cost of course) but not to worry, the dealership would cover the difference and I'll be getting all my money back. The guy (who was not the service manager) told me that this was a first, and he didn't know what strings I pulled, or who I spoke with to make it happen, but he was going out an buying a lottery ticket! Of course I hadn't even begun my crusade yet, but I admitted nothing.

Imagine, a car dealership that admits fault, then does the right thing and stands behind their customer AND GIVES MONEY BACK. Quite honestly, other than showing some determination that I wouldn't take no for an answer, I didn't have to fight for my money.

Who knew?

Cheer Up

Everyone in blogdom (including me) seems to be down today. Just be thankful that none of us are forced to wear v-neck sweaters with yellow trim and flowers (not to mention the 3/4 cut sleeves), white capris and blue platform boots.

Go Chavez!

I say good for you! Bush deserves to have that ridiculous religous crap thrown back in his face.

And he does talk and act like he rules the world.

Mush

Last night we watched the season finale repeat of Grey's Anatomy. Actually, I watched it while Q fell asleep on the couch. I have to admit that I cried a little when Denny died, and I don't make a habit of getting emotional with TV. It was obvious that he was going to go at some point, but it was still a heart wrenching scene nonetheless.

Later, it left me awake in bed, thinking about what I would do if anything ever happened to Q. Would I lie in bed with his dead body like Izzie did? Probably. Would someone have to physically remove me from the bed too? Most likely. I'd be devestated. It would take me a long time to recover, pick up the pieces, and move on with my life. In fact, the only reason why I'd move on is because I'd know that that's what Q would want. I've heard first hand from someone that when you lose a loved one, that pain never goes away. It gets easier as time goes by, but it never, truly, completely goes away. I believe it.

This is new for me. I've never felt this way about anyone before. If any of my other exes had died, I'd probably have been relieved more than anything else. In fact I'm sure that there were times when I wished they were dead so I didn't have to put up with the bullshit anymore. But this is different. Q is so ingrained in my life, and so fulfulling that I simply cannot imagine a world without him.

I used to think all the emotional stuff on TV and in the movies was just over-dramasized fluff, but it's not. There's a grain of truth there, and it's just a question of whether or not you can relate. I guess that's why it's so compelling.

You know what's not a good movie?

The Killer Klowns from Outer Space.


The plot - Killer clown shaped aliens land their circus tent shaped spaceship in a small town and start killing people by shooting them with a laser gun, which wraps them up in a cotton candy cocoon. Then they stick a swirly straw in it and suck out the juice. Of course they do this to everyone except the heroine who, for some unknown reason (other than to further the plot so she can be rescued), they put in a giant balloon. Add "teenagers" who look like they're in their 30's, an old cop who inexplicably hates those goddamn teenagers, a makeout point, two comic relief idiots who'll stop at nothing to get girls and boobies, a dash of 1987, and you get a film that's marginally better, yet still more enjoyable, than Hostel.

Another chapter in Shit Management

Continuing my rant about shit quality from a few days ago, I took my 1.5 year old Hyundai Elantra in for it's 36000km oil change/service on Saturday. It had been there for about an hour when I got THE CALL. Problem #1 - my front tires were worn out and needed replacing - and they aren't rated so there's no type of warranty on them. These tires, which I had rotated regularly, came with the car, and no, there is no alignment problem either. At least the guy was honest and apologetic when he told me that the stock tires are crap. But still...

Problem #2 - my rear brakes were completely worn out, just down to the last 3%, but before the squealing starts. Considering that this is a front wheel drive vehicle and the front brakes were fine, I found that hard to believe. It seems they wore down because they weren't releasing all the way (so I was driving around with rear brakes on - but lightly enough that I wouldn't notice), which in turn caused the rotors to get overheated and require machining. Long story short - need new rear brakes, brake adjustment, and rotors machined. Needless to say, I wasn't too happy at this point, but opted to get the brakes fixed since it's just a wee bit important to have proper brakes. For the tires I'm going to shop around.

When I went to pick up the car, the service guy informed me that he'd done some investigating and found out why my rear brakes weren't releasing as they should - there is a problem with my parking brake cable. Now get this - this is the real kicker - the parking brake cable replacement is covered under warranty, but the resulting damage to my rear brakes is not! Now, this guy did not have the authority to override this, nor was there anyone else in the dealship at the time who could. The best he could do for me is place a call to Hyundai on Monday and see what they say. If they don't agree to pay for the repairs, then he'll have to talk to the Service Manager to see if the dealership will cover it. In the meantime I had to shell out almost $500 to get my car back. Not happy, not happy at all. I didn't take it out on the service guy though, since it wasn't his call to make, but I did tell him that I wouldn't take no for an answer, and I'll await his call.

I'm already in a fight with Bell that's gone all the way up to the President (and now I'm winning). I have no problem doing the same with Hyundai. I'm prepared to take them to small claims court if necessary. Even if I don't win there (and I can't see why I wouldn't) I'll have at least cost the company more than my measley few hundred dollars to send a lawyer. However, the service level at the dealership is great, so there's a good chance they'll come to the table. Otherwise they'll wish I'd never bought a car there.

Friday Follies

There's a storm brewing....

Dallas Nights

Last night I watched DALLAS SWAT - one of those reality shows where they follow a SWAT team around through different missions. I decided something last night. I want - no need - to move to Dallas and become a drug dealer. When the Swat team busts through my door, I'll shove all the drugs down my pants and demand to be strip searched. Curiously, one of the houses they busted last night had a "man trap" in it. I'm not sure what that is exactly, but I think I'll need one of those too.

On another note, during the show they aired a commercial for HP laptops. They came with a service and support warranty for the lifetime of the computer. I'm not sure what that means either, but I think it goes something like this:

Hello, HP tech support. How can I help you?

Hi there, my laptop just died and it won't turn on anymore. I need it fixed.

I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid I can't help you. Your warranty is no longer valid.

What do mean? I was told it had a lifetime warranty.

Yes it does sir, and your laptop has reached the end of it's life. Therefore the warranty is no longer valid.

But...

Thank you. (click)

I didn't get tickets for Scissor Sisters

And after getting my hands on their new album, "Ta-Dah", I'm glad I opted out. While I liked the blend of Elton John/Bee Gees on the first album, the addition of relentless honky tonk piano, banjos and an overall vaudeville flair is just too much the second time around. As I was listening to it on my way to work this morning, I was left picturing Mary Pickford, with her hair cut in a 20's bob, wearing fishnets and tassels, dancing across a stage with Betty Boop. Seriously. Then, as I was listening to "I Can't Decide", it reminded me of some other song that I hadn't heard in years. It took a few minutes before reaching the surface of my brain:

Some day we'll find it, the Rainbow Connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa

The Muppet Movie. I'm listening to Scissor Sisters and all I can think of is Kermit sitting on a tree stump in the friggin' Muppet Movie.

Don't get me wrong, there are some OK songs on the album (but nothing stellar), and it does move to disco/Sheena Easton inspired tracks as you get further into it, but overall it's a let down compared to their first. I guess there's just too much pressure after your debut album is a smash success.

More Musical Goodness

Somehow or other I managed to get the song 2D2F on my ipod. I don't know where it came from - honestly. It's sung by a female "rap" group, along the same lines as J.J. Fad (Supersonic anyone??). Here's the chorus:

Don't get to drunk to fuck (you've got to get it up)
Don't get to drunk to fuck (you want to get. it. in.)
We get home, I get hot, you pass out, sucks a lot!!!

Wait, this verse is even better:

Don't pass out goin' down on me,
Or I'll wake you up with a mouth full of pee.

Beyonce should watch her back.

Ma Vache est Jolie

I've been listening to this song lately called "J'ai pas vingt ans" and have been trying to sing along with what lyrics I can understand. This morning as I was singing along loudly in my car I realized that something was wrong:

Moi, je sais la tache.
J'ai maquille ma vache.
Moi, j'ai le temps.

which loosely translates into:

I know the task.
I put makeup on my cow.
I have the time.

Somehow I don't think that's what was intended, but it's forever etched in my brain.

Vive la vache!!!

Cheaters

Saturday night I was up late, flipping through the channels and was in the mood for something trashy and mind numbing, so I stopped on Cheaters. As trashy as it is, if my man were cheatin' on me, I'd love nothing more than to bust his sorry ass and embarrass him on national television. But wow, what trash and what a sleazy host. Seems like the type to do a couple of lines just before taping and during each commercial break. I wonder how many vulnerable women he's taken advantage of after the camera stops rolling? I can just see it, the wife's crying on his shoulder and he's all like "Don't worry baby, it's all right." Then he puts his arms around her, slowly sliding them down farther and farther, all the while coaxing her into his trailer so they can have some "privacy." You can't tell me it hasn't happened.

As if the show wasn't trashy enough, the commercials were just as bad - "Got bad credit?", "Get a reverse mortgage!", "Have you been hit by a car? Do you think you might be in the future? You need a lawyer!!", "There's a class action lawsuit going on. You could be eligible!", "Get a Bowflex for only 9.99 a month! (though they don't say how many months)". But the absolute worst were the constantly repeating ads for Ashley Madison. In case you haven't heard, it's a "discreet" dating site for people already in relationships who are "looking for a little something more in their lives."

To put this in perpesctive, I was watching a show where they hunt down and bust cheating spouses and in between segments, show commercials for a dating service for people looking for someone to cheat with. Gotta love TV.

High quality

This morning a client's server crashed for no apparent reason. It just did. It's always nice to report back to a client that reason the server crashed is "I don't know. It's Windows. It just does that." Nice.

I wish things would just work. I know I'd be out of a job, but some days that's just fine by me. Case in point:

1. Blogger Beta. I know it's beta, but I'll just leave it at that.
2. Got my music remote control thingy up and running. The PDA kept having problems with the network card I bought for it. After a lot of sleuthing, I found out that those 2 pieces of hardware are incompatible. That's just ridiculous. Had to get a different network card.
   
3. The software I got that allows you to choose tracks on the computer from the PDA has problems with iTunes playlists. No matter which song you choose from the list, it always plays the first one.
4. I bought a brand new high tech Hi-Def DVD player to go with the new Hi-Def plasma TV. They're connected with a fancy shmancy HDMI cable to provide the most super duper unbelieveably eyeball busting image quality. If I turn on the DVD player and change the TV source to HDMI before the disc is finished loading, the signal doesn't sync right and the image is red. I have to turn the DVD player off and on to get it back. They're both made by Samsung so you'd think there'd be no problems. Sometimes I have to hit the rewind button repeatedly before it's recognized too.
5. Plasma TV's have a burn-in issue. If you watch something with a static image (network logos, or news feeds like CP24 and CNN) the images can get burned into the screen. Same goes for widescreen movies that have the black bars. The instruction manual recommends that you do not watch something like that for more than 2 hours. Guess I'd better not hook up pong.
   
6. I have a PVR (like a Tivo) and every once in a while the sound gets out of sync and/or the image freezes for a split second and/or I can't rewind. I have to get it replaced.
7. I have a home theatre receiver for everything. Every once in a while there's no sound when I turn it on. I have to shut it off and on again and then it works fine.
8. I got a brand new Blackberry a few weeks ago (kill me). It freezes, comes up with errors and/or reboots. It also drops the Bluetooth (for a wireless headset) periodically - usually just as the phone rings. I have to take out the battery and put it back to get it working again. That needs to be replaced.
9. I bought a car charger for the Blackberry. It stopped working yesterday. Something else to be replaced.
   
10. Last year I bought a Bluetooth wireless headset. It wouldn't work and I had to exchange it for another one. After a year it cracked and fell completely apart. I replaced it with another, supposedly better, model which I'm pretty happy with except that the signal isn't as strong as the old one resulting in static sometimes.
11. I can't adjust the mirrors in my car anymore. The switch has to be replaced (under warranty).
12. I won't even go into all the things that have broken, shorted out, died and/or fallen apart on Q's almost 2 year old Jetta.
13. When Q bought his laptop a few years ago, he had to go through 3 before he got one that didn't have some sort of defect.
14. Then there's all the things I buy for clients that arrive DOA right out of the box.
15. WARNING - HARD DRIVES DIE ALL THE TIME!! BACK EVERYTHING UP NOW!! Manufacturers used to have a 3 year warranty on all hard drives. A few years ago they all dropped their warranties to 1 year. They dropped the quality as well.
16. A few years ago, IBM received a bad batch of capacitors which were installed on motherboards in servers and computers all over the globe. For the past 3 years I've periodically been getting calls about IBM PC's/servers crashing. When I arrive, the first thing I do is open the case and look at the motherboard. Nine times out of ten, the capacitors have exploded or leaked. IBM has never publically acknowledged this issue.
    

Things on my good list:

1. My iPod (third generation). That sucker just keeps on ticking no matter what I do to it. I'd like it to die so I can get a new one, but I know it won't - just for that reason.
2. Epson 2200 wide format printer. This sucker cost me over $800. I hadn't used it in almost 6 months due to the move and all. Usually that would mean dried ink in the print heads, resulting in numerous head cleanings requiring replacement of all the cartridges. Even then you might still be screwed. I hooked it up on the weekend, cleaned the heads once and it was 100%. I love that thing.

So if you're unsure of whether to purchase a warranty with something or not, I'll leave you with this piece of advice - if you're the type to buy extended warranties, go to Future Shop. If you say yes to the warranty (which they get the most commission on and have a quota to meet), you can get them to drop the price of many other things or throw them in for free. I went with a friend of mine to get a laptop and since he opted for the warranty we were able to get the guy to through in a router, mouse and web cam for free. It can be done, I do it there all the time. You just have to be as ruthless a customer as they are a salesman.

Beta Bullshit

I signed up for the Blogger Beta thing a while ago. I just have one piece of advice for those of you who are comtemplating the same thing - DON'T.

If I upgrade my template to the latest and greatest ones, I can no longer use Haloscan comments. I like them and I want to keep them. As of yesterday, I could no longer post comments on any non-beta site. So for those of you who are used to me being a loud mouth, I still am, but currently have Beta Duct Tape stuck across my virtual mouth.

I love Robot Chicken

I know that Robot Chicken has been on for years in the States, but seeing as we aren't allowed to have the Cartoon Network (and consequently Adult Swim) in Canada, I had to wait until they picked it up here. I'd heard about it before, but never watched it until it was on for the first time on Friday night. I ran out Saturday and got the DVD.

This is my childhood. These are the kinds of videos that me and my friend Edward used to make when we were kids. I still have most of the toys they have in this show. Seth Green is my hero.