(Not so) Way back Wednesday

One day, a number of years ago, after Psycho and I had just finished buying our house in Cabbagetown, we decided to go for a walk and explore our new neighbourhood. We came across this cute guy standing on his front porch and said hello. He answered back and we started a conversation. We talked about how we're new to the area etc, etc and then he asked us if we'd like to come in and see his house. Having nothing better to do, we agreed.

The main floor was nice and redone in typical Cabbagetown Fag Style, as are most of the houses in the area (hence why it's so popular). Then he took us down to the basement. There was a workshop down there and he explained that he did pyrotechnics for film and TV. He then proceeded to show us little contraptions he'd made, and I was getting a little nervous thinking that we could be surrounded by explosives. Then he reached into a bag and gave us a bunch of little raver glow sticks. I don't know why he thought we'd want them, but to be polite we took them. I hate raver glow sticks.

After that we moved upstairs to the second floor, and that's when things started getting creepy. He showed us his office, including his computer which was connected to a porn site. Apparently it was something he had a hand in running and he gave us some free access cards to try it out. Then he showed us the bathroom. He'd installed a huge shower with jets protruding everywhere. There was even a seat if you wanted to sit back and relax while getting pounded by water from all sides. "You guys are welcome to try it out you know," he offered. We declined.

Our next stop was the master bedroom. The door of which was closed.

"Hold on a sec," he said "I have a friend over and I just want to make sure it's ok." He knocked on the door and then peeked his head in. After a few quiet exchanges he opened the door. Inside the room was a huge bed and at the foot of the bed was a huge TV. Playing on the TV was gay porn, and laying on the bed was a young, thinly built, naked guy masturbating his huge cock. He looked completely fucked up, like he'd been on the bed watching porn for hours and hours but was so high that there was no way he could actually reach a climax. Mr. Masturbator mumbled some sort of hello and went back to staring at the screen and jacking himself. After some awkwardness we left the bedroom and went back downstairs. Psycho was very curious about the visitor on the bed, but couldn't get a staight answer from our creepy new neighbour. We thanked him for his "hospitality" and quickly left.

We didn't walk down that street again for a very long time.