Taking Control

Yesterday, after my therapy session, I realized that I don't have to forgive Psycho for all the things that happened while we were together. I have to forgive myself.

After that, everything else is inconsequential.

Update: Dickeybird commented on the fact that he didn't think that there was anything that I had to be forgiven for. On the logical side that's true, but unfortunately on the emotional side it's not.

As the textbooks will tell, people in my situation are often left with a sense of shame, guilt, and embarassment for having put up with the crap for so long - regardless of the reasons for staying. It really doesn't make much sense, but it's usually the end result. What I am trying to do is understand exactly what in my life led up to that point, where my head was at, and what my motives were. Once I know the answer, then I'll have reason(s) to justify my behaviour (whether I like those reasons or not), and I won't feel so stupid anymore.