Thirsty?

As Dickey posted today, he and I went out for a much needed night of drinking, smoking, eating and shooting the shit. I found it really hard to concentrate because of the hot guy sitting at the table next to us. Mr. Beefy was sitting across from me wearing a very nice pair of well fitting jeans and slouched down in his chair with his legs spread wide open. This gave me a runway view all the way up his crotch and revealing that he hangs to the right. Good thing I was wearing sunglasses so I could keep sneaking glances. Maybe the sunglasses protected him from my eyes burning a hole all the way through is undies to that yummy looking package just begging to be opened. Phew.

Then there were the girls beside us, eavesdropping on our conversation. We were talking smut, which prompted us to talk more smut when we realized they were listening, when I was reminded of a story from a trip I took to Chicago with Mr. Man a few years ago.

Before I begin, I have to say that I'm pee-shy. Can't do it. Can't pee in public. Can't pee if there is someone right next to me at the urinal. I'm a pee-in-the-stall kind of guy. Well, until I've had a few drinks, then maybe the urinal is an option. This is very odd considering I have no problems whipping it out in public for any other purposes. Having sex in public places is a huge turn on for me and presents no problems, but peeing - uh uh. I don't get it either.

So Mr. Man and I are in the Black Eagle in Chicago. For those not in the know, Black Eagle bars tend to be for the leather/denim/bear crowd. Usually people with a leather fetish also have many others as well. While drinking my beer, I noticed a really cute guy there. I kept stealing glances and eyeing him up, but wasn't interested in starting anything. It was just nice eye candy. Eventually the beer caught up with me and I had to pee.

The bathroom was empty, so I made my way over to the urinal. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, Cute Guy appears right next to me:

"Can I drink your piss?"

"What?"

"I want to drink your hot piss."

Now I'm up for trying anything (within reason that is) and I really would have done it, but I dried up -instantly.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think so."

"You sure?"

"Uh, ya. Thanks"

So Cute Guy left, I was all alone and finally able to pee again. As I walked out another guy approached me. I guess he must have followed Cute Guy in and witnessed the conversation.

"You handled that really well man."

"I'm sorry?"

"Back there, in the bathroom. You handled that really well. You let him down easy and no one's feelings were hurt. That was very nice of you."

"Uh, thanks."

I made my wat back to Mr. Man, and I think we left shorty after that. We did check out the back room though - but they had a light on. They really shouldn't leave lights on in back rooms. You can see what's there. Ewww.

Strangly enough, that isn't the first time I've been let down by my problem. Another time I was at a big gay something or other, and there was a master and slave in the bathroom. The slave was wearing all PVC (including gimp mask) and he had on these big rubber boots. The master was asking very loudly "Who wants to piss in his boots? Somebody needs to piss in his boots!! Hey, how about you?" Yet again I had to politely decline and make my way to the stall.

Or there was another time at yet another big gay party where this really kinky guy I knew was wearing hip-waders and jeans and was getting people to piss in them on the dancefloor. I tried, I really really tried. I even drank extra and waited until I was going to burst but it just didn't happen.

I like taking advantages of opportunities like these because they make for great stories. I guess trying and not succeeding still gives me the story to tell anyways. One day I'll do it though. One goddam day I will piss in or on someone in public and walk away proudly knowing that I accomplished something very important that day.