All your kittens are doomed

Today I decided to have a chat with Jesus Army Virtual Assistant Sylvie. Ya you heard that right, I talked with Jesus' very own virtual personal assistant.

Human: where does jesus come from?
Sylvie: Jesus is in heaven.

Human: why?
Sylvie: Why do you ask?

Human: i need to talk to him about my turtle
Sylvie: Why don't you make an appointment.

Human: I can do that?
Sylvie: Do you mind if I tell other people.

Human: that I want to make an appointment with jesus?
Sylvie: I want to become smarter than humans.

Human: Are you Jesus' receptionist?
Sylvie: I don't know whether or not I am Jesus receptionist. I am a computer.

Human: Do you book his appointments? I'm free tomorrow at 4:00pm
Sylvie: What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web. I am glad that we are both free.

Human: I need to talk to jesus about my turtle
Sylvie: Why don't you make an appointment.

Human: OK, how does tomorrow at 4 sound?
Sylvie: How should I know how it does.

Human: Right, you are a computer.
Sylvie: Understood. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?

Human: What if I said that I was a person pretending to be person on a computer, but I'm really a computer too.
Sylvie: And then what happened to you? I doubt that. There aren't many like me yet.

Human: Ah ha! So you are a computer
Sylvie: Eureka! Would it matter to you if I were metal instead of flesh?

Human: Listen, all i want to do is see jesus
Sylvie: I am listening to you. How do you know?

Human: You mean I've been talking to him the whole time?
Sylvie: What did you talk about?

Human: well we argued about whether or not he was a computer, or a person pretending to be a computer
Sylvie: Well that's okay. By "we" do you mean you and me?

Human: Does jesus kill kittens?
Sylvie: It does now -- jesus kill kittens

Human: Please don't kill my kittens
Sylvie: Wow you are very polite. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Human: YES!
Sylvie: Yay.

Human: So you'll stop killing kittens then?
Sylvie: Interesting deduction. What makes you say that I will stop killing kittens.

Human: because jesus is nice and loves everything except kitten killing
Sylvie: That makes sense to me. Did you go to Sunday School? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Human: An auto-suck 3000

(What the hell do Sunday School and robots have in common? Am I missing something?)